Round Pegs in Square Holes

People can be looked at in their personality types in a very similar way to their clothing sizes.

See, most clothes, especially in the modern day, are mass produced, so in order to be suitable, they make a select number of particular sizes. These sizes are at least a passable if not better fit for the majority of people.

But some people are going to have proportions that are a little funny. Maybe they’ve got wide shoulders but skinny arms, or feet that are long and tall but narrow. These people will never be a comfortable fit into any of the pre-determined, mass produced sizes. They’ll always be looking for something that fits a little nicer, but they’ll never really find it.

If they really want to have something that fits, they’re going to need to make it themselves. And that’s a lot harder than just buying something standard. So they can either try to get used to the discomfort and awkwardness, or spend great time and effort creating their own fit, which carries the risk of failing and looking foolish.

This is not an essay about clothes, and I don’t particularly know or care too much about clothes. The clothes are, as I said, a metaphor.

In society, especially in the modern day, we have certain roles and life paths which already exist. They’re equally as manufactured as department store clothes, and they’re laid out in front of all of us. But there are only a limited number of different options, all generic enough to suit most people pretty well.

But there are of course those who will never quite fit into them. They’ll switch from job to job, move between cities and towns everywhere, constantly trying to find which mass-manufactured character they can fit into best, but never finding it.

They have to choose whether they will just try to exist in something that doesn’t quite fit, or make something of their own, at risk of appearing a fool.

There is no easy solution and there is no right answer. Every society which has existed has struggled with what to do with these types, as they often cause problems, and can be a liability.

I think these people have often turned out to be many of the great historical figures we look up to, but also those we pity and condemn. History’s biggest losers and villains likely belong in this category.

In the modern day, with all our psychological research, we tend to like to diagnose them, create little boxes in which we can dump those who fit nowhere else. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as many of these types of people can be dangerous. But the very nature of them is that they’re all different. They cannot simply be lumped in to groups (or at least not accurately). Another side effect of this is you then get normal people attempting to enter what they perceive as another character option, when they do not truly belong there.

I don’t know what the solution is for people such as this. It’s all too vague to have just one or even a few solutions. It can be a gift or a burden. You could become a hermit, isolated from society, but this is merely yet another premade path.

But the dilemma for them is this:

- Struggle in a premade life you do not really fit in, appearing odd and subject to ridicule

Or

- Struggle to make one for yourself, appearing odd and subject to ridicule

For society, the dilemma is more like:

- Give them freedom and choice, even those who may cause harm

- Force them into a premade size, including those who pose no threat